Sonic and Tails: Fanfic
-Sonic opens his eyes suddenly-
-he looks around and realizes he fell asleep while running around the world-
Tails: How is that even possible, I mean what the fuck.
Sonic: Tails! You're running with me?
Tails: No, I've been slowly catching up with you over the past 4 hours. I had to invent a new fucking mode of transport to do so.
-Sonic looks at the jetpack shoes Tails has on-
Tails: Yeah, see, Eggman is up to no good again or some bullshit. Let's go kick the shit out of him.
Sonic: Alright, alright, what's his evil plot this time?
Tails: Apparently, he's going to make Mobius permanently morning until the rest of time.
Tails: How the fuck should I know? So people can't see the moon? Who gives a shit? Either way, that means part of the world will be sunny all the time, and another part will be in the dark all the time. It fucks everything up. We gotta stop him and shit.
Sonic: Cool, right, let's get a chili dog first.
[CHILI DOG RESTAURANT]
Tails: I haven't had one of these in years.
Sonic: Really? They're still awesome.
Tails: I hadn't eaten one in years because they goddamn suck.
Sonic: ...Oh. -he eats his chili dog sadly-
-the door opens dramatically-
Sonic: What? How did you know I would be here?
Shadow: Because you always come here for chili dogs. Every day. Every 3 hours.
Sonic: Oh. Hmm. What's up?
Shadow: Eggman has announced a plot to-
Tails: I already told him, fuckface.
Shadow: ...Well, fuck you guys then.
-Shadow walks out of the restaurant-
Sonic: Do I really come here every day?
Tails: You came here to eat while you were fucking sleeping.
-Sonic thinks about it-
Sonic: Oh, I thought that was a lucid dream.
Tails: Are you done eating yet? Can we just go beat up Eggman already?
Sonic: One second, bro. I have this entire drink, and I haven't had any of it yet.
-Sonic heisitates and then takes a sip of the drink-
-Tails grabs the drink and throws it at a wall-
Tails: I don't GIVE A FUCK!
Sonic: Okay. Y'know, I think we might need Knuckles' help on this one.
-Sonic jumps off the Tornado and lands directly next to Knuckles, standing guard at the Master Emerald-
Knuckles: The fuck you want, nigga?
Sonic: You wanna go on adventures with us? Y'know, like old times?
Knuckles: Shyeah. Lissen, I kinda got some Emerald to guard, nigga. I don't got time for dat shit. Figure it out yo'self.
Sonic: I can /dig/ that. Heh.
Knuckles: Get tha fuck outta mah face, nigga.
-Sonic jumps off the island and lands on top of the Tornado-
Knuckles: Stupid fuck.
Sonic: Alright! It's time to show Eggman who's boss!
Sonic: Umm... Where's he at?
Tails: Maybe he's near those giant ominous dark clouds which are over a giant fortress with Eggman's face on it.
Sonic: No, too obvious. I bet he's... In Twinkle Park!
Eggman: How'd you find me?
Sonic: I used the real super power of teamwork! Right, Tails?
Tails: Shut the fuck up.
Eggman: Well, then, Sonic, I'm tired of you messing with my evil schemes! Plus, you're TOO LATE! -he flips a switch-
-Sonic and Tails look up to see the sky abruptly change from daytime to dawn-
Eggman: Also, I'm in a giant robot.
-they see Eggman is in a giant robot-
Sonic: I didn't see that coming.
Tails: Jesus christ! Fuck off!
-Tails flies directly up to Eggman and punches him in the face-
-the giant robot falls over and Eggman spills out of it-
-Eggman coughs and then jumps into an Eggpod-
Eggman: You may have got me this time, but you'll never find out how to make the solar system move again! Good luck, fools!
-he flies away-
Sonic: Tails, what are we gonna do, little buddy?
-Tails punches him in the stomach and Sonic doubles over-
Tails: I don't even give a fuck anymore. Fuck this. I'm going to my workshop.
-he flies away-
Sonic: Okay, see you later. Hmm, if I'm going to stop Eggman, I'll need somebody's help, and I know just the guy...
TO BE CONTINUED